It's April 11 and this blog was composed March 3, 2014 at 3:45 am and according to my spirit guides it is time to blog and share what an a Empath is....

An Empath feels the emotions of others, and has an affect on them, their emotions and energy. 
A person that is not an Empath has control over the emotional effect and doesn't allow themselves to feel the other persons energy, issues or emotions and sure doesn't feel their pain in their body, and can choose to take into consideration the other persons emotions or pains. They stay in their own bodies. They feel what they feel in their mind, body and soul, but let it go with ease. Where an Empath vibrates outside their body and has the gift (or is it a curse haha) of feeling other's emotions or pains because they usually observe and not absorb, where an Empath absorbs when they really should be observing and not absorbing! This can be very difficult especially if you don't know your body or understand what an Empath is. 
I always say being an Empath makes me the amazing Reader and Healer that I am in my office- but not so amazing at the mall. It's actually over stimulating for me to be at the mall. I actually hate going to the mall. I avoid it if I can. It's funny how you realize things as you get older and learn your body. As a teenager I never wanted to go to the mall. I just didn't like it, but all of my friends frequented the mall often. Now I know why!

A few things I've learned and would like to share...
As an empath it is our job to choose who we surround ourselves with, who we spend our free time with, and who we choose to call friends. 
Just because we have known someone forever or an even harder one is- the people we are related to- Just because we are related to someone doesn't mean we have to spend our free time with them if they aren't making us feel good or happy. Check- If after you're with someone you feel drained, stressed, irritated, annoyed, down or worried about them, you may want to consider shortening your time with that person. 
I'm going to share with you that this has been a hard one for me all of my life. I have had a lot of not so loving, not so caring or helpful family members in my life. But I wouldn't change my past if I could, because it has made me the caring loving sportive strong woman, mother, friend and person that I am today. I treat people the way I want to be treated with love, compassion, empathy and light.

And because I am not selfish
I am a very caring helpful giving person and this my friends has sometimes got me into situations that have caused me some major grief. I mean be a supportive person bring a friend happiness, guidance and pleasure and then in turn if it causes you disappointments, let down and any feelings of regret them that's your body talking to you.
Example that comes forward and I can go back many many years ago before I had a child I used to babysit for friends so that they could go out and go on vacation and have fun or go back to work after having a child. Which was great, right?
They got to go out on the town, go on vacation, cruises, limos or simply go back to work and I got to help, be supportive, love their children, and do things like go to Chuck E Cheese or do art work or just hang out and spend quality time with their children. I love kids so babysitting was always fun for me and still is to this day! 
As an Empath they never really had to ask me because I would offer the second I knew they needed something. Which for them was great-right? But for me.... Not so great! One friend actually had the nerve to say to me, "I didn't ask you-you offered!" As if... ugh! That was the official smack in the face wake up call. .. Because it wasn't a favor if I offered right?

Then I had a child. Most of these people I referred to as friends, that I babysat for frustrated me time and time again, because they weren't so willing to reciprocate the favors. They were married, busy, or just not around anymore. This showed up multiple times throughout my life when I needed a babysitter these friends were not as readily open helpful or even appreciative or wanted to help with babysitting favors with my child as I was with theirs.

It really hurt me and was really hard to understand.

Another example is much later on in life once I graduated from college and actually started working and doing readings I used to read my friends for free all of the time and that had its own set of issues. My definition of a friend is one that is there for your friends through thick and thin. I'd listen to them complain or vent, they'd listen to me vent and complain like we all do but once I started doing readings I would read them for free and provide guidance, messages from their loved ones, or predictions and then everytime they had a dilemma they would call me and I was expected to provide free readings and support like I always did. Because I would just openly offer advice or read them and friends for free in the past. It started to be expected, and this became a drain eventually I had to make changes. 
I mean let's say if I were a nail lady would I be expected to do all of my friends nails for free? No! But because I'm not holding any tools or scissors I don't think they really looked at it as a job or service because I'm just talking right? . . One time probably in 2010 I had an issue where a friend of mine scheduled an appointment to do a (free) reading with me and when I wasn't able to be there right at the time she scheduled she got really nasty with me and that's when I realized something was wrong. It showed me to see that I wasn't having good boundaries. So now I try really hard and I don't read friends for free. They have to pay something. I funny care I if it's $20. Or dinner!

I always prayed that God will help me to have better spiritual boundaries. This has been a huge life lesson that has showed up multiple times over the years and just when I think I have it down someone or something shows up to tests me once again!

Bottom line is Empaths need to surround themselves with like minded people. 
We can't help the world, well I guess we could try, but it would be exhausting. When you feel for someone or you feel another's pain, needs, or emotions and it overwelmed you, consumes your thoughts, or you feel their pain and you worry, that means you may be an Empath. This can be a difficult one for you as it was and is for me, because not everyone feels the emotion of others, plus it's a dog eat dog world. Or is it doggy doggy world? They both get to my point! Not everyone is out to help or even care to help others. Not everyone has that gift of feeling another person's emotions, caring for that person, providing service, offering or volunteering to help or connectors to that feeling that person's needs wants and desires its called an Empath.
It's our job to surround ourselves with like minded people if you pay attention to the qualities of life that those people choose it becomes quite easy to pick out who is and who is not a like-minded person. This like - minded person would have a mindset of what can I do for you in our relationship to help, not what can you do for me in this relationship, being a give-and-take type of relationship. It becomes kind of tricky when you have family or friends that you may known for 25 years but the good news is the more spiritual you become, the closer you get to God or the more you become more in touch with your higher self the harder it is to deal with letting them go, but the easier it is to detect these like-minded people. Because it'll be familiar when you leave these people you'll feel fulfilled you'll feel no drain, no negative emotion, no confusion and most important no shift in your energy. You may feel happy after you interact with them. It's important to checkin how you feel after you're with each and every person you come in contact with. You want to be okay with yourself when you leave and have positive emotions going through your veins maybe feel like you got help and maybe you help them too. Another important thing is not absorbing their pain and most importantly not offering help when they haven't asked for it. 
We have free will and that means we can choose who we surround ourselves with and who we choose to help. Free will to let things go and move on or try to hold on and not suffer because your fighting for what you believe in, all the while hoping that the person will see the light. Just because you realize they need help doesn't mean you fix it, help fix it, or offer to fix it. 
Just accept that people are people and just because we see and know they could make better choices doesn't mean they are ready to see that or accept it. I'm setting it free is something I say often. And really I'm allowing myself to be free to accept what is, when if I don't agree with what it is. 
Another thing that I say is observe but not absorb.
Which brings me to my favorite quote I heard in college, which is on my business card... "The key to happiness is accepting what is." 
This is what it is. So be it!

I'm sending love and light 

I am a very feeling person. So "feeling" that I suffer from Fibromyalgia. For me it's a balancing act. Making sure I disconnect, rest, balance things out and have "Me Time" is all very important factors in my mind, body, life and soul. Especially because I am a healer that doesn't use any cards or tools when I am in session. I use my body to read and feel people's energy.  I feel energy and I feel Spirit touch me, a Loved One that has passed away, or left this physical world. 
There is a such thing as life after death. Trust me they communicate with me daily.  So when a family member wants to connect with a loved one who has passed.  They come to a Medium, like me, to communicate.  For me it's like picking up a phone and dialing up a Spirit.  I can feel their emotions, hear their voice and feel them in my body or touch my body. I am Psychic, I am a medium I do have a Communication degree and certificate, I have facilitated parenting classes but I am a spiritual healer. I am a healer. I move energy and heal your body, mind and soul. This is my God given gift. And I thank God, my Angels and the universe for these gifts daily. 
They talk a lot about Spiritual gifts in the Bible. One verse is in 1 Corinthians 12 <- - click 
More info here <- - - click

I am so feeling that I can also feel a living person's energy, vibrations and emotions.  
A feeling person, also referred to as an Empath, is one my senses and can be considered a gift or a curse. My friend Scooter always says, "Peej you have super powers- now remember he says, you can't get something for nothing." Meaning there's always a pro and a con. There is always a payoff he says. Which I relate to the fact that I have Fibromyalgia. 
And it's true. Feeling is a gift, but looking back on my life now, it could also be looked at as a curse! LOL
Its actually a gift that makes me the amazing healer and reader that I am. I mean when I'm in a session with someone I can feel if they have kidney pain or I can feel a loved one that has passed giving me a feeling that I have to decode, or they touch me, when I'm connected to their energy. I can hear them speaking or they will touch my hair, head or arm, sometimes it's their way of confirming what I'm saying is correct. I always say, "It's pretty amazing while I'm in the office- but not so amazing when a I'm at the mall." 
Because I feel everyone's crap and I hear feel and see spirit and feel energy. That's how I read people, by their energy and aura. But when I'm at the mall it's a bit overwhelming for me. I get over simulated and then feel wiped out or fatigued. That's my fibromyalgia too!

This is where meditation or what I call "Me Time" comes in handy. It allows me to quiet my mind, clear the energy, and the thoughts, take a mental and physical break and just let it all go, even if it's just for a few minutes of my day. It's just disconnecting for a few minutes here and there. I sometimes say, it's like putting gas in your car. If you're on a road trip and you've driven through two states on a tank of gas, trust me, if you don't stop that car and put more gas in it, it will force you to stop by actually running out of gas or possibly over heating. The same way as your body does when it speaks to you, it's telling you I'm tired, stop, I'm overwelmed and then if you ignore it and keep going and going, to work, to this, and to that. ..and then it says, "I'm done, I'm shutting down, "I'm sick now!" And it forces you to stop. 
Okay back to the car... You already drove 900 miles and the gas gauge says empty.  You have to stop the car, turn it off and put gas into its tank, which is also taking a break, which could be considered a break, or stop time, or meditation time, which is also known as "Me time!" LOL

Over the years on my spiritual journey I've learned a few things here and there from classes, Silvia Brown, Sonia Choquette, self help books, and many more and really just experiencing things and experimenting myself. I have discovered a few things that work and help me disconnect, which then allows me to be in alignment with my higherself, Spirit and my soul. It allows me to disconnect, clear and be in that quiet space of peace, even if it's a few minutes. Sometimes it feels like I have to force myself, but after I do, I feel spiritually refreshed and feel a sense of a clearer thinking, and just a peace calm feeling body. After I mediate I feel stronger and better. This only takes a few minutes out of your day. And if you do a few minutes here and there throughout your day, it's awesome for your soul.

Here area few things that work for me:
You can take a bath with a candle burning and just watch the candle's flame flicker and just feel the warm water on your body and how wonderful it feels. Not thinking how wonderful- feeling how wonderful. We want to give the brain a rest and not think about anything. And trust me- thoughts will come in and I just put my hand up and imagine I'm pushing them aside and sometimes I have to say, "I hear you, but right now I'm taking some "Me Time" and you can come back later, after my "Me Time."

We all have God given gifts or senses. When we're taking some me time we want to put the knowing or thinking senses aside and we want to relax and feel, which requires your eyes to be closed, so that when we see, which also requires one side of your brain to take a break, so don't see and analyze- you look at something and admire. You look and feel. No solving or thinking or brain work allowed when looking. Turn off that curiosity and just be free from it all. Just admire, which is feeling and enjoy what you see. 
It's almost like day dreaming, which is also a great "Me Time" exercise. When you sit there alone and quietly and allow yourself to let go of ego and any learned expectations and just day dream, you allow your mind to go on a journey and venture off into a fairyland. It's an amazing gift and tool to be able to venture off into our safe place. This allows us to disconnect from reality and from analyzing things and let's us dream while we are awake, allowing all of those fantasizing thoughts to come in, venturing off into a great space and allowing wonderful thoughts to enter. It's such an amazing feeling, once you've returned from an adventurous fantasy and you feel happy and spiritually charged and hopeful. If you can imagine it, then it's possible, not just in our head, when we day dream, but in our real life's journey, which allows hope and openness to the possibilities. Sometimes when I allow my expectations or learned ways to be pushed aside and just let myself go, I will see things unfold and I get answers. Not everyone can daydream. This is what I consider a God given "gift" and to some it can be very frustrating.  So if you try it once and it doesn't just come naturally then you can't do it- try the other things I will share. Please don't try and try and get frustrated and then retreat into your head and feel irritated or frustrated. Just let it go and find something that is easy and makes you feel good, relaxed and revived.

Going to the beach and sitting alone on the sand and watching the beautiful waves for a few minutes, then closing your eyes and just listening to the waves for a few minutes, then opening your eyes and watching- well you get the idea. While doing this you want to focus on your breathing- in and out slowly, not thinking about if you're breathing too slow or too fast, remember we are feeling not thinking, just feel the breathe in and feel the calmness set in, while setting the intention that this is "Me Time" and for the next few minutes you're turning off your thoughts. Disconnecting from that analyzing side of the brain. You're goal is to disconnect for a few minutes and just enjoy the beauty of the ocean and Mother Earth. You could sneak in talking to your Angels, or allow a few minutes of prayer at the beginning, but to be honest I need you to set an intention with yourself and your Spirit Guides that this is "quiet time" because let me tell you one of my Guides is a chatty Cathy. So you should say out loud or in your mind's eye, this is me time and we're NOT open for business and we're going to push those thoughts aside, and for the next however many minutes you choose I'm going to be mostly focusing on disconnecting and feeling, then you can talk after I'm done, and then I will listen and be open to thinking again.  But until then, I'm on a break. (And remember to thank them for respecting your wishes after.)
Then just relax, focus on your breath and admire the amazing waves crashing and the peace and comfort you feel from the sounds of the ocean.

Another thing that works wonderfully for me is walking at night. Not waking during the day, but walking under the stars. It does something to me, my mind, body, and soul. I'm not sure if it's just the stillness of the night, the stars or the moon, but it does something to my soul.  Plus it's like hitting two birds with one stone. Haha that's sure an old school phrase, I mean where did that phrase come from?  lol 
I say it all of the time and I've never hit a bird! Who hits birds anyway?! lol

Okay Peej- back on track here! Walking at night is amazing! You get a break in the stillness of the night and disconnect from the energy of everything at your home, and then you get some exercising in too after dinner. 
A win win!

Another thing I've noticed is laying or sitting there playing Candy Crush or any video game where your looking at the game and trying to solve or figure something out that you're seeing on a screen.  It takes your mind away from reality for a while.  You're not thinking about work or your relationship issues while you're on level 67 on Candy Crush and you're trying to get to the next level for the last 25 minutes haha it's impossible! Because your mind is in a space where is connected to that game, trying to plan the next move, thoughts of life are pushed aside because you're using strategy to complete that level and move on to the next. Never thought you'd hear that come out of my mouth huh?! LOL

Another thing that really helps me is getting a foot massage or full body massage. I love love love massage. I lay there, they soak my feet and then massage me.  Sometimes when I'm laying there I want to think or listen to my Spirit Guides talk while laying there and I just say, "I'm taking some "Me Time" right now, come back later."  And I just lay there and feel how amazing it feels to feel the warm hands massaging me and I feel how relaxed I am and how I feel in that moment.

Something I tell clients to read a book. Not a self help book, because that allows you to think about yourself and you do a lot of reflective thinking. It has to be a love story or a thriller or mystery so that when you're reading it you're actually in your head, as if you're watching a movie in your mind.  I'm not much of a reader so I can't relate, but this is something my Guides bring forward all of the time.  For me to read a book I have to be on an elliptical or treadmill to read.  I know- Crazy huh?!  But very true LOL

Guided meditation is also great for those of us that are always in our heads. When you listen to a guided meditation your eyes are closed and your hearing someone taking you through a journey and your relaxed and heart is open to this amazing journey that someone is guiding you through.  A lot of healing comes from guided meditation.  It works with your subconscious mind.  I love guided meditations. I have several on YouTube under "Medium Peej".

Another good "Me Time" exercise is listening to music, the kind where you are singing the lyrics. When you listen to your favorite music it feels good, it does something to your soul, plus how can you think about your stressful work issues when you're singing the words to an amazing song?  Now wait a minute. .. I'm not talking about listening to county music or some Marvin Gay, which usually are love story based songs, especially if you're having relationship issues!  That would just activate energy and the whole point is to disconnect.  Make sense? Just music that you like and that you can sing the words to. I mean feel good music. La♪la la♪♫ la la🎶 
And dance to it.  Move your body.  Get that energy flowing and shake it! 


These exercises allow us to disconnect mentally from our life, body, and thoughts, and allows us to be open to peace and stillness. The results are amazing. I always come back recharged, refreshed and stronger!

Like Cora says in my favorite movie "Madea goes to Jail, Madea calls her daughter and asks where she is because she isn't supposed to drive and she needed a ride. Cora says, I'm getting my hair done, I'm having some "Me Time" let's just say Madea was not happy about her taking time for herself and she let her know. I love that movie. It does something to "MY" soul lol
We all think about and WANT "Me Time" , but life, work, our children, friends or just life get in the way.  Life and people are always going to want our time until we decide our body and soul NEEDS "Me Time", it will go to the bottom of our list of importance and not be a priority. And things I notice when I don't make time for me is I start getting snippy, or fatigued or exhausted feeling.  I feel like I'm on a treadmill or hamster wheel and I exert a lot of energy but get know where or get very little done.

Make time and make it priority- trust me, you will notice a huge difference in life. I know it brings me peace!

Thank youfor reading and I am sending you love and light. 
Peej