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Empaths- It's our job to choose

4/11/2014

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It's April 11 and this blog was composed March 3, 2014 at 3:45 am and according to my spirit guides it is time to blog and share what an a Empath is....

An Empath feels the emotions of others, and has an affect on them, their emotions and energy. 
A person that is not an Empath has control over the emotional effect and doesn't allow themselves to feel the other persons energy, issues or emotions and sure doesn't feel their pain in their body, and can choose to take into consideration the other persons emotions or pains. They stay in their own bodies. They feel what they feel in their mind, body and soul, but let it go with ease. Where an Empath vibrates outside their body and has the gift (or is it a curse haha) of feeling other's emotions or pains because they usually observe and not absorb, where an Empath absorbs when they really should be observing and not absorbing! This can be very difficult especially if you don't know your body or understand what an Empath is. 
I always say being an Empath makes me the amazing Reader and Healer that I am in my office- but not so amazing at the mall. It's actually over stimulating for me to be at the mall. I actually hate going to the mall. I avoid it if I can. It's funny how you realize things as you get older and learn your body. As a teenager I never wanted to go to the mall. I just didn't like it, but all of my friends frequented the mall often. Now I know why!

A few things I've learned and would like to share...
As an empath it is our job to choose who we surround ourselves with, who we spend our free time with, and who we choose to call friends. 
Just because we have known someone forever or an even harder one is- the people we are related to- Just because we are related to someone doesn't mean we have to spend our free time with them if they aren't making us feel good or happy. Check- If after you're with someone you feel drained, stressed, irritated, annoyed, down or worried about them, you may want to consider shortening your time with that person. 
I'm going to share with you that this has been a hard one for me all of my life. I have had a lot of not so loving, not so caring or helpful family members in my life. But I wouldn't change my past if I could, because it has made me the caring loving sportive strong woman, mother, friend and person that I am today. I treat people the way I want to be treated with love, compassion, empathy and light.

And because I am not selfish
I am a very caring helpful giving person and this my friends has sometimes got me into situations that have caused me some major grief. I mean be a supportive person bring a friend happiness, guidance and pleasure and then in turn if it causes you disappointments, let down and any feelings of regret them that's your body talking to you.
Example that comes forward and I can go back many many years ago before I had a child I used to babysit for friends so that they could go out and go on vacation and have fun or go back to work after having a child. Which was great, right?
They got to go out on the town, go on vacation, cruises, limos or simply go back to work and I got to help, be supportive, love their children, and do things like go to Chuck E Cheese or do art work or just hang out and spend quality time with their children. I love kids so babysitting was always fun for me and still is to this day! 
As an Empath they never really had to ask me because I would offer the second I knew they needed something. Which for them was great-right? But for me.... Not so great! One friend actually had the nerve to say to me, "I didn't ask you-you offered!" As if... ugh! That was the official smack in the face wake up call. .. Because it wasn't a favor if I offered right?

Then I had a child. Most of these people I referred to as friends, that I babysat for frustrated me time and time again, because they weren't so willing to reciprocate the favors. They were married, busy, or just not around anymore. This showed up multiple times throughout my life when I needed a babysitter these friends were not as readily open helpful or even appreciative or wanted to help with babysitting favors with my child as I was with theirs.

It really hurt me and was really hard to understand.

Another example is much later on in life once I graduated from college and actually started working and doing readings I used to read my friends for free all of the time and that had its own set of issues. My definition of a friend is one that is there for your friends through thick and thin. I'd listen to them complain or vent, they'd listen to me vent and complain like we all do but once I started doing readings I would read them for free and provide guidance, messages from their loved ones, or predictions and then everytime they had a dilemma they would call me and I was expected to provide free readings and support like I always did. Because I would just openly offer advice or read them and friends for free in the past. It started to be expected, and this became a drain eventually I had to make changes. 
I mean let's say if I were a nail lady would I be expected to do all of my friends nails for free? No! But because I'm not holding any tools or scissors I don't think they really looked at it as a job or service because I'm just talking right? . . One time probably in 2010 I had an issue where a friend of mine scheduled an appointment to do a (free) reading with me and when I wasn't able to be there right at the time she scheduled she got really nasty with me and that's when I realized something was wrong. It showed me to see that I wasn't having good boundaries. So now I try really hard and I don't read friends for free. They have to pay something. I funny care I if it's $20. Or dinner!

I always prayed that God will help me to have better spiritual boundaries. This has been a huge life lesson that has showed up multiple times over the years and just when I think I have it down someone or something shows up to tests me once again!

Bottom line is Empaths need to surround themselves with like minded people. 
We can't help the world, well I guess we could try, but it would be exhausting. When you feel for someone or you feel another's pain, needs, or emotions and it overwelmed you, consumes your thoughts, or you feel their pain and you worry, that means you may be an Empath. This can be a difficult one for you as it was and is for me, because not everyone feels the emotion of others, plus it's a dog eat dog world. Or is it doggy doggy world? They both get to my point! Not everyone is out to help or even care to help others. Not everyone has that gift of feeling another person's emotions, caring for that person, providing service, offering or volunteering to help or connectors to that feeling that person's needs wants and desires its called an Empath.
It's our job to surround ourselves with like minded people if you pay attention to the qualities of life that those people choose it becomes quite easy to pick out who is and who is not a like-minded person. This like - minded person would have a mindset of what can I do for you in our relationship to help, not what can you do for me in this relationship, being a give-and-take type of relationship. It becomes kind of tricky when you have family or friends that you may known for 25 years but the good news is the more spiritual you become, the closer you get to God or the more you become more in touch with your higher self the harder it is to deal with letting them go, but the easier it is to detect these like-minded people. Because it'll be familiar when you leave these people you'll feel fulfilled you'll feel no drain, no negative emotion, no confusion and most important no shift in your energy. You may feel happy after you interact with them. It's important to checkin how you feel after you're with each and every person you come in contact with. You want to be okay with yourself when you leave and have positive emotions going through your veins maybe feel like you got help and maybe you help them too. Another important thing is not absorbing their pain and most importantly not offering help when they haven't asked for it. 
We have free will and that means we can choose who we surround ourselves with and who we choose to help. Free will to let things go and move on or try to hold on and not suffer because your fighting for what you believe in, all the while hoping that the person will see the light. Just because you realize they need help doesn't mean you fix it, help fix it, or offer to fix it. 
Just accept that people are people and just because we see and know they could make better choices doesn't mean they are ready to see that or accept it. I'm setting it free is something I say often. And really I'm allowing myself to be free to accept what is, when if I don't agree with what it is. 
Another thing that I say is observe but not absorb.
Which brings me to my favorite quote I heard in college, which is on my business card... "The key to happiness is accepting what is." 
This is what it is. So be it!

I'm sending love and light 


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Empath- Super power or not?

3/26/2014

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Hi my name is Peej and I have been blessed with many gifts and what one of my best friend says I have super powers. 
I am a Communication Guidance Healer.  I graduated in 2007 with a Communication Degree, a Liberal Arts Degree, and a Communication Studies Certificate and with honors.  I have facilitated Positive Parenting Classes, Domestic Violence Support, and have volunteered hundreds of hours at my child's schools over the years, as well as have helped bring hundreds, maybe thousands of people guidance and healing to their minds, bodies and souls through Spirit- all of my life.
Plus I've also graduated from the school of hard knocks - and with honors lol jk.

I have been on a spiritual journey most of my adult life to heal my mind, body, and soul .
And in that journey I've learned that one of my gifts is that I am an Empath.
You ask what is an empath?

Have your friends or family ever told you that you are really sensitive?  Do you feel like or actually cry when you watch American Idol? Do you have unexplained pain in your body? Can you feel other people's pain?  Do you always feel the desire to or offer to help?  Do you have a feeling when something bad is going to happen?  Do you have anxiety?
If you answered yes to any of these you too may be an Empath.
Empaths care and worry about everyone and are so very compassionate and are very sensitive.  Sometimes an Empath is more worried about others and how they feel before they are worried about themselves. 
They will give, give, help, care and then at the end of the day they are exhausted.  The will think and feel. .. "I helped, cared and why do I feel like I didn't get the end result I hoped for?" They don't feel good. They may feel drained physically or emotionally.   They help people and then it doesn't turn out.  Especially true when you're in a love relationship with someone that doesn't possess this super power.  
If any of this makes sense then you may be an Empath- I encourage you to continue to read and also read my other blogs on empaths.

Another example of living in an empathic body is when you watch TV or a movie are you extremely sensitive to the people on the screen?   I mean, I can't watch shows when someone gets hurt, because I actually feel their pain in my body. 
The show that is on in my house a lot is Ridiculousness.  A lot of people laugh and think it's funny, but when someone falls or gets hurt, it's really not funny to an Empath....I see that and I actually feel that person's pain in my body and I feel a sensation in my body.  For me, I feel it in my legs or knees.  It's very difficult for me to watch a person experience pain. Very uncomfortable and gets me agitated. We have a family rule to change the channel when I'm around.  I don't watch those shows. 
And for me- I also feel the pain and a sensation through my body if someone talks about getting hurt or explains how someone they know broke their leg, I don't only hear what they are saying I relate with that person's pain and feel it in my body- literally and can empathize with that person on a higher level.

I always joke around and say that being an Empath makes me the amazing Healer  that I am because I'm sensitive to your energy, your needs, and your pains, but it's NOT so amazing at the mall!  During my high school and younger adult years I never wanted to go to the mall.  It just wasn't a fun thing to do, even today, I honestly dread the mall, it just isn't something I want to do during my free time.  My child had never been to the mall until he was 6 or 7 years old because I hate shopping.  I will go in, go straight to the store I need, purchase and leave! 
I knew I didn't like shopping at the mall, but I was never able to actually articulate this.  After years of learning my body I am now able to put it into words from an emotion and feeling.  I'm overstimulated when I go to places where there are a lot of people, energy or Spirit.

As an Empath it's been my journey to pay attention to things around me and listen to my body and honor and respect my body. 
When someone is mean or rude to me, it is my job to choose to not be in contact with that person.  I will drive ten miles to a store to deal with that nice customer service orientated bank teller that doesn't negatively affect my energy.  I mean let's face it- our surroundings have an effect on us.  Feng Shui originates from the Chinese and is the East, West, North, or South positioning of your home, front door, and furniture.  It is proof that our surrounding have a huge effect on us, and more importantly people in our lives actually have a bigger affect on us.

If I deal with a person at the bank near my home and they are not really warm, helpful or friendly... I may leave there feeling bla! Or even irritated, but then one day I stopped at another bank farther from my home, and they are nice and they put a smile on my face, and also on my heart, trust me- I will drive to the farther bank, because I want to feel that comfort and ease with interaction with others, which makes me feel good.  Meaning didn't affect my mood in a negative way.

Another sign that you may be an Empath is that you hate texting.  Because they rely on feeling as their primary sense to feel and that's pretty close to impossible when you text. 
It can be an horrible experience for an Empath. In talking to my very good friend Lindsay, she gets irritated with her friends because she says that when she reads their text messages she can't get a feeling and always wonders if that the person is mad at her. She reads the text as if they are mad.
I understand texting is quick and easy for some things like "Pick up some milk" or "I'm ready", but now a days people use texting as a way of communicating. 
A perfect example is when someone meets a person on an online dating site, they want to email and text back and forth, but in this circumstance texting isn't good, because there isn't any emotion behind a text.  You can't read them or their energy or hear them or feel them. An Empath wants to talk so that they can feel and through texting there isn't any emotion to feel so it can be very confusing to the mind and emotions.

Another example of an Empath is they always feel other people's pain and want it to stop.  So they will do everything they can do to help so that the pain will stop.  

When someone hurts an Empath the pain is exacerbated.  It becomes excruciating beyond belief.  It is horrible!!  And very difficult to get through or release the imprint it makes.
This is why all body work, energy healing, acupuncture, meditation, massage, physical therapy and love is so important to heal your body.

I am not going to claim I have this down. .. but I will tell you this, I consciously make an effort to be aware of the people I surround myself with and pay attention to those that have an effect on me and trust me people will have an effect and refrain from those how jeopardize my happiness or peace.  I try to turn off that empath, empathy trigger, sense or sensor and only open up or help when I am asked.  The person says Peej can you. .. and they ask which translates to they have come to a conclusion that they want help and most importantly they realize they NEED help and ASK for it! 
If you only get one thing out of this blog, I pick that this piece of advice sink into your mind, body and soul.

The Merriam-Webster online definition states empathic involving, characterized by, or based on empathy
and the Related Words:
feeling, perceptive, sensitive; considerate, gentle,softhearted, tender, tenderhearted, warm, warmhearted;benevolent, benignant, bighearted, charitable, kind,kindhearted, kindly, largehearted, magnanimous;clement, lenient, merciful, tolerant; pitying, ruthful;congenial, cordial, friendly, genial, good-natured, good-tempered, gracious, well-disposed; affectionate, loving

And Near Antonyms:  
inconsiderate, insensitive, thoughtless, unthinking; aloof,cool, indifferent, uncaring, uninterested; unaffectionate,unfriendly, unloving; merciless, pitiless, ruthless; bigoted,blinkered, narrow-minded, small-minded; brutal, grim,hard-bitten, hard-boiled, harsh, oppressive, rough,severe, stern, tough, ungentle, unrelenting; abusive,acrimonious, disagreeable, hateful, hostile, ill-natured, ill-tempered, malevolent, malicious, mean, rancorous,spiteful, surly, unkind, virulent

I encourage you to learn about your mind, body and soul.  You could read my other blogs on Empaths and I encourage you to watch my YouTube videos and please feel free to contact me at www.peej.me for guidance.
Thank you and I'm sending you superpower love and light.  Peej xoxo
.
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You're Psychic too!  

3/24/2014

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Feb 15, 2014
Did you know that you're psychic? 
Do you consider yourself to be highly intuitive?  Are you sharp?  Do you listen to your gut all of the time, most of the time, some of the time, or hardly ever? Or are you one of those that are really confused right now as to what I am referring to? Well it's that little feeling in your stomach area? Haha!   
If you answered yes to any of those above, then please continue to read and listen, because this information will help you understand and hopefully learn a few things.

We all have intuition.  Even though we do all have it some of us don't know we do.  And the sad part is that most of us doubt it, which then we depend on going outside of ourselves to get the answers we need.   If you do this-this is the day you notice and chose to stop,  because it is a choice.  When we do that we give our power and control to listen to our gut and make the right choices to someone else, outside our body.

I'm here to teach you how to stay in your own body.   I want to share an important sense that we all have, which is really a naturally born gift to all.  I can explain it very simply. .. Most of us are born with the sense of smell, but some of us were not born with the gift of sight or seeing, or even hearing, but ALL of us are born with the sense of knowing and that gut feeling that speaks to us and sends a signal of does this feel right (or not).  I don't care if you're blind deaf or stupid we all have that sense of knowing.  This is your intuition and that 6th sense that everybody tasks about, that inner knowing.  It's that little voice in your head that speaks to you. But do you trust it?  Do you listen to it?

When we take time to calm our minds and pull back from the chatter in our minds we allow ourselves to disconnect. 

Meditation is one way to learn how to do this and is the best way to practice this muscle and sense.   Meditation helps to calm that mind chatter allowing yourself to think and listen from a more calmer and clearer space.  The more you practice the better you get.   That's when I would refer to it as a gift, because the more time you spend time learning and practicing something- the better you get! 

With your intuition it's really simple- take the time, let go, breathe, relax, pay attention, acknowledge, trust and feel yourself strongly rooted into Mother Earth.

I meditate often but I know how to drop down into the vibration because I'm a Medium so I hear see and feel Spirit and loved ones that have crossed over.  I love wihat I do!  My heart's desire it to help.  All Mediums are Intuitives (Psychic), but not all Psychics are Mediums.  Mediums are natural born to sense what Spirit says, and that is a gift, but intuition everyone has and is what I'm going to refer to as a natural born gift, that we all have. 

My heart's desire is to teach people how to listen to their own intuition and to know that we are all intuitive which translates to we are all psychic.  And psychic is just another word for intuition, to be quite honest with you.   It's my heart's desire to teach people the signs or signals to teach them to notice to pay attention to, acknowledge, and learn to listen and use your God given gift.  Your intuition will guide, protect you by sending you a subtle signal or feeling.  It's about h halfa second long.  The more you listen to your body and learn the easier it gets and the more confident you become.  Remember that old saying "Practice makes perfect"?   If you listen to that gut feeling and base your decisions on that little voice that you hear in your head or that hit you get in the gut then you will make better choices in life.

Remember- don't go outside of your body,  because you can't base your choices or decisions on what your friends thinks or from what your family members expects you to do.  Family values, guilt and society will teach and influence you to do what is expected and then your guilty conscience will also influence your intuition, but you have to honor your God given gift. 
I want you to base your choices in life and the decisions you make by going inside yourself and listening to what your inner voice says.   This is what I refer to as your higher self or your higher source.  This is your connection to Spirit and honoring that part of your soul, your gut and intuition. 

This is my heart's desire and a Spiritual Healer and Guide to teach you how to listen which allows you to be more in alignment with yourself.  I provide a new path and the tools to be connected to your higher self, Higher Source, Spirit, God or your gut and intuition.  This allows you to live your life knowing thats the choices you make come from your soul, your heart's desire- this is what I live for!

"Meditation is the key to intuition"  -Peej

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Our Kids are Psychic and we need to listen to them!  By: Spiritual Healer Peej  www.peej.me

12/30/2013

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Did you know that your kid/s are Psychic?  Yes they are!  They have very good senses for what is good or bad feeling and their filters aren't there yet.  So they will blurt out what they feel, which I think is pretty funny sometimes!  
They are especially tuned into what is not so good for the people they care most about- YOU their parent and they WILL tell you how they feel.  
If you are in a relationship and your Psychic kid/s don't like your partner, you should listen to them, because there's a reason why their spidey senses are telling them something negative.
Kids are very intuitive, which is another word for Psychic.  They are completely clear and they most likely have a reason why they don't like that person so if you're in a relationship and you don't know if it's the perfect one or if he or she is the right one or the one that you should be in and your intuition is getting mixed up and conflicts with your emotions.  
A good way to get direction is consider how your friends or Psychic kids feel about that person you're in relationship with.  (Which also means friendship relationship)  Because if they don't like the person you're involved in a relationship with, then maybe you need to start listening to your gut feeling because if they're reading that that person is not good for you nine and a half times out of 10 you know that person is not good for you.  That does NOT mean that they aren't a good person, it just means that they are not a good person for you.  There's a reason why you're holding on to that person and I don't know what the reason is, but sometimes we don't know what the reason is. Maybe it's that you aren't good with change.
Maybe this is a personal issue you need to look at.  Why doesn't my Psychic kid like this person that I'm in a relationship.  You can look at yourself in the mirror and say why am I in this relationship?  What is this person doing for me?  What does this person bring into my life? Are they adding to the quality of my life or subtracting from it?  Are they teaching me to listen to my own intuition? and an example of that would be.. are they teaching me to know when someone's lying are they saying that they're faithful and I know that they're not.  Are they saying that they are at a friends house and your spidey senses are telling you it doesn't feel like the truth?  Do you feel suspicious?  I call that your spidey senses which also known as your intuition.  When your gut is telling you that this person is doing something wrong, and nine and a half times. ..I mean I meant to say 99.999 percent of when you think someone's not being honest, YOU ARE RIGHT.  That is your intuition talking to you and you need to honor that because your intuition is a God given gift.  I know for some of you change is really difficult, but if someone isn't bringing positive, peace, love and light into the relationship you have with them, then we need to let them go.  It's kind of like the analogy that I use of when your the boss of your own company.  If an employees isn't adding to the production, positivity, and the growth of the company you need to consider putting them on a 30-day probation period or give them a two week notice.  After that two weeks you let them go and if you do a 30-day probation then you do an assessment and evaluate if they're doing their job and adding to the positivity of the business you keep them.  If they causing conflict or negativity?  Then we make that change and let them go.  
I mean that's something that a lot of us need to do in our personal lives, but we don't because we get comfortable we have a little reasons of why we don't make change but sometimes change is good.
Especially when our Psychic kid/s share and are completely honest, especially if they are under 16 years old. Their filter is not there. So please listen to them. Trust them. They have your best intention and love is unconditional. They are a blessing to us.

Letting go is hard and once we decide a change is in order or once we accept there is a problem ..then change.  And sometimes it takes years to shift or change or to accomplish once we do succeed we feel at peace.  

I'm a Spiritual Healer, Medium, Communication Studies & Life Coach with some amazing Angels & Guides.  I always say ask your Angels to guide you, and say show me the way, and protect me, really helps.   And ceremonies are always needed to set it all free.

Let go. 

Change is good.  Harmony and family are very important for our souls to sing.

I'm sending love and light, 
Peej

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    Peej

    Intuitive Energy Healer, Psychic Medium and Conscious Channel.  A gifted healer and deliverer of messages from our Guides, Angels, and Divine Source!

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