It's April 11 and this blog was composed March 3, 2014 at 3:45 am and according to my spirit guides it is time to blog and share what an a Empath is....
An Empath feels the emotions of others, and has an affect on them, their emotions and energy.
A person that is not an Empath has control over the emotional effect and doesn't allow themselves to feel the other persons energy, issues or emotions and sure doesn't feel their pain in their body, and can choose to take into consideration the other persons emotions or pains. They stay in their own bodies. They feel what they feel in their mind, body and soul, but let it go with ease. Where an Empath vibrates outside their body and has the gift (or is it a curse haha) of feeling other's emotions or pains because they usually observe and not absorb, where an Empath absorbs when they really should be observing and not absorbing! This can be very difficult especially if you don't know your body or understand what an Empath is.
I always say being an Empath makes me the amazing Reader and Healer that I am in my office- but not so amazing at the mall. It's actually over stimulating for me to be at the mall. I actually hate going to the mall. I avoid it if I can. It's funny how you realize things as you get older and learn your body. As a teenager I never wanted to go to the mall. I just didn't like it, but all of my friends frequented the mall often. Now I know why!
A few things I've learned and would like to share...
As an empath it is our job to choose who we surround ourselves with, who we spend our free time with, and who we choose to call friends.
Just because we have known someone forever or an even harder one is- the people we are related to- Just because we are related to someone doesn't mean we have to spend our free time with them if they aren't making us feel good or happy. Check- If after you're with someone you feel drained, stressed, irritated, annoyed, down or worried about them, you may want to consider shortening your time with that person.
I'm going to share with you that this has been a hard one for me all of my life. I have had a lot of not so loving, not so caring or helpful family members in my life. But I wouldn't change my past if I could, because it has made me the caring loving sportive strong woman, mother, friend and person that I am today. I treat people the way I want to be treated with love, compassion, empathy and light.
And because I am not selfish
I am a very caring helpful giving person and this my friends has sometimes got me into situations that have caused me some major grief. I mean be a supportive person bring a friend happiness, guidance and pleasure and then in turn if it causes you disappointments, let down and any feelings of regret them that's your body talking to you.
Example that comes forward and I can go back many many years ago before I had a child I used to babysit for friends so that they could go out and go on vacation and have fun or go back to work after having a child. Which was great, right?
They got to go out on the town, go on vacation, cruises, limos or simply go back to work and I got to help, be supportive, love their children, and do things like go to Chuck E Cheese or do art work or just hang out and spend quality time with their children. I love kids so babysitting was always fun for me and still is to this day!
As an Empath they never really had to ask me because I would offer the second I knew they needed something. Which for them was great-right? But for me.... Not so great! One friend actually had the nerve to say to me, "I didn't ask you-you offered!" As if... ugh! That was the official smack in the face wake up call. .. Because it wasn't a favor if I offered right?
Then I had a child. Most of these people I referred to as friends, that I babysat for frustrated me time and time again, because they weren't so willing to reciprocate the favors. They were married, busy, or just not around anymore. This showed up multiple times throughout my life when I needed a babysitter these friends were not as readily open helpful or even appreciative or wanted to help with babysitting favors with my child as I was with theirs.
It really hurt me and was really hard to understand.
Another example is much later on in life once I graduated from college and actually started working and doing readings I used to read my friends for free all of the time and that had its own set of issues. My definition of a friend is one that is there for your friends through thick and thin. I'd listen to them complain or vent, they'd listen to me vent and complain like we all do but once I started doing readings I would read them for free and provide guidance, messages from their loved ones, or predictions and then everytime they had a dilemma they would call me and I was expected to provide free readings and support like I always did. Because I would just openly offer advice or read them and friends for free in the past. It started to be expected, and this became a drain eventually I had to make changes.
I mean let's say if I were a nail lady would I be expected to do all of my friends nails for free? No! But because I'm not holding any tools or scissors I don't think they really looked at it as a job or service because I'm just talking right? . . One time probably in 2010 I had an issue where a friend of mine scheduled an appointment to do a (free) reading with me and when I wasn't able to be there right at the time she scheduled she got really nasty with me and that's when I realized something was wrong. It showed me to see that I wasn't having good boundaries. So now I try really hard and I don't read friends for free. They have to pay something. I funny care I if it's $20. Or dinner!
I always prayed that God will help me to have better spiritual boundaries. This has been a huge life lesson that has showed up multiple times over the years and just when I think I have it down someone or something shows up to tests me once again!
Bottom line is Empaths need to surround themselves with like minded people.
We can't help the world, well I guess we could try, but it would be exhausting. When you feel for someone or you feel another's pain, needs, or emotions and it overwelmed you, consumes your thoughts, or you feel their pain and you worry, that means you may be an Empath. This can be a difficult one for you as it was and is for me, because not everyone feels the emotion of others, plus it's a dog eat dog world. Or is it doggy doggy world? They both get to my point! Not everyone is out to help or even care to help others. Not everyone has that gift of feeling another person's emotions, caring for that person, providing service, offering or volunteering to help or connectors to that feeling that person's needs wants and desires its called an Empath.
It's our job to surround ourselves with like minded people if you pay attention to the qualities of life that those people choose it becomes quite easy to pick out who is and who is not a like-minded person. This like - minded person would have a mindset of what can I do for you in our relationship to help, not what can you do for me in this relationship, being a give-and-take type of relationship. It becomes kind of tricky when you have family or friends that you may known for 25 years but the good news is the more spiritual you become, the closer you get to God or the more you become more in touch with your higher self the harder it is to deal with letting them go, but the easier it is to detect these like-minded people. Because it'll be familiar when you leave these people you'll feel fulfilled you'll feel no drain, no negative emotion, no confusion and most important no shift in your energy. You may feel happy after you interact with them. It's important to checkin how you feel after you're with each and every person you come in contact with. You want to be okay with yourself when you leave and have positive emotions going through your veins maybe feel like you got help and maybe you help them too. Another important thing is not absorbing their pain and most importantly not offering help when they haven't asked for it.
We have free will and that means we can choose who we surround ourselves with and who we choose to help. Free will to let things go and move on or try to hold on and not suffer because your fighting for what you believe in, all the while hoping that the person will see the light. Just because you realize they need help doesn't mean you fix it, help fix it, or offer to fix it.
Just accept that people are people and just because we see and know they could make better choices doesn't mean they are ready to see that or accept it. I'm setting it free is something I say often. And really I'm allowing myself to be free to accept what is, when if I don't agree with what it is.
Another thing that I say is observe but not absorb.
Which brings me to my favorite quote I heard in college, which is on my business card... "The key to happiness is accepting what is."
This is what it is. So be it!
I'm sending love and light